


Burned Flesh

by suallenparker



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 2x04, AU, Angst, Denial, F/M, Lots of Angst, Love Confession, Remix, episode AU, episode add on, face my enemy, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4133343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suallenparker/pseuds/suallenparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternative ending to 2x04 “Face My Enemy”</p><p>After they return from their mission, Melinda needs to take care of her electrical burns. Phil offers assistance and gets more than he could handle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burned Flesh

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CrazyMaryT](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyMaryT/gifts).



> DEDICATED to the wonderful crazymaryt. Have a wonderful birthday, friend! Be warned, this is very angsty. it almost killed me writing it, but I hope the end makes it worth your while too!

“Didn’t we talk about smart medical fixes?” he asked as he entered the medical room where he found Melinda standing in front of one of the cabinets. The left straps of her tank top and bra were pulled down. Her hair was wet. She must’ve showered after the mission.

She looked at him while she peeled the protective paper from a bandaid. “This is a burn, not a stab wound.”

True, but still. He walked towards her. “Let me help?”

Ignoring him, she pulled her hair to the side and raised her hand to place the bandaid on her burn. Before she could apply it, he caught her hand with his.

“I’m serious,” he said, smiling. “I’m not gonna just let you slap a bandaid on it.”

She squinted at him.

When she relaxed her hand, he knew he had won.

Still squinting, she gave him the bandaid and he gestured her to sit at the medical bed. There, she waited for him while he got a q-tip and the special anti burn serum from the cabinet. Fitzsimmons had created it years ago and it was very effective.

Q-tip and serum in his hands, he stood between her legs, while she held her hair to the side and tilted her head, exposing her wounded shoulder and her neck. Such a lovely neck. Very kissable. Then again, everything about her was just kissable. He bit his lip and focused on getting just the right amount of serum onto the q-tip. He was a dying man, he had no business to kiss anybody.

He put down the serum and placed his left hand below her collarbone before he brushed on some of the serum with the q-tip.

She hissed as the serum made contact with the wound.

He glanced at her as he continued. Just a little more of the serum should suffice. “I’m sorry for this.”

She snorted. “Not as sorry as Bakshi was.”

His wonderful, tough Melinda May. Field work didn’t seem to bother her any more. More so, she seemed to enjoy it again. And he was so very grateful for that. He loved seeing her happier again. She had been so wounded after Bahrain. His lips thinned. He loved her so much! He admired her for her strength. But he knew she was vulnerable, too. They still needed to talk about what he needed her to do when things would go south with him. He hated being her sore spot.

“I’m okay, Phil.”

Sure she was. He grinned. “Did he get you anywhere else?”

Smiling, she shook her head.

He put away the q-tip and the serum down and gently pulled up the straps of her bra and tank top, gracing her soft skin with his fingers as he did. He loved touching her. This was terribly dangerous. Before he was done, she cupped his hand with her right. And they just looked at each other. His hand resting on her shoulder, her hand above his and their eyes locked. His heart skipped a beat and time slowed and raced at the same time.

Then she leaned into him. Her left hand grabbed his arm. And her lips sealed his. She was so gentle. So perfect.

How dared she?

He pulled away and straightened up. “No!” How _dared_ she? His heart broke.

Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry -”

No, no, no, no! “You can’t do that!” he snapped at her. Damn it! Why did she have to do that?

She paled and pressed her lips together.

“You cannot -” _kiss me. You cannot fall in love with me._ He took a step back. She was already suffering just being his friend, he would not allow her to get any closer! He would not! His hands clenched.  “I need you to be professional.”

She lifted her chin and jumped of the medical bed. “It won’t happen again, sir.” He saw her hands clenched too.

He hated this. He hated this so much! “I need you to shoot me in the head and I need to know you’ll be okay afterwards,” he said as calmly as he could.

She stared. She looked so wounded now. Crap. Crap. Crap!

He wanted to hold her. He wanted to promise everything would be alright but four days ago he had carved these damn signs into the wall and they still made no sense and he already wanted to carve again. He was doomed, but he needed her to survive this. “I need you to do your job and not get attached.”

“ _Not_ get attached? Are you -” She pulled in a sharp breath and glared at him. “Not get _attached_?”

He wished they weren’t friends. He wished she wouldn’t care about him at all. He hated seeing how much pain he caused her. He hated not being able to fix himself. “SHIELD will need a leader and you’re it,” he said. “You’re the only one I trust with that.”

For a moment she just stared at him, before she shook her head and walked out.

He wished he could let her go like this. He wished he could spare her. He should’ve kept more distance! She had kissed him! She had freaking kissed him! His chest felt hollow. Keeping a straight face, he followed her to her room.

In front of it, she fumbled with the key card. When she dropped it, he picked it up for her. She didn’t even look at him. He wanted to beg for forgiveness. He wanted to confess his love. He wished they had options.

He opened the door for her and gave her back her keys. She walked into the room right to her bed. Again, he followed but stopped right behind the door.

The door closed behind them and they were alone. The privacy here was probably more suitable for their conversation topic than the medical room, but still. She had kissed him and now he stood ten feet away from her bed. He wished he could pull her against him.

He swallowed hard. “Promise me you’ll take me out.”

She kneeled in front of the bed and reached beneath it.

“Promise you’ll shoot me,” he said.

She pulled a bag from beneath the bed and put it on top the covers while she stood up.

He loved how elegant she moved. She was so graceful. He sighed. “I can’t do this if I don’t know you’ll stop me once I get dangerous! You need to -”

“You’re not Garrett!” She turned around to him. “You’re not the same! You’re not –“ She took a breath. “I’m not gonna shoot you in the head. I’m not! I’ll get you out. If things get too much, I’ll get you out!” She pointed at the bag on the bed. “I have passports and plane tickets and a cabin in the australian outback.”

She killed him. She absolutely killed him. And she was so very sweet.

“I’ll take care of you,” she added and looked at him with pleading eyes.

She was such a generous person. Suddenly a hope flashed up. “Did you kiss me out of pity?”

“Now you’re just insulting us both.” She sounded tired.

He was tired too. And he was hurting her. He hated this! And he loved her. He loved her so very much. He swallowed hard. “I’m getting worse,” he said.

“I know.”

“I’m so sorry.” His throat closed up. He was sorry for everything. Sorry for not saving her from whatever happened in Bahrain. Sorry for not saving her afterwards. Sorry for dying. Sorry for pulling her into this new mess. Sorry for making her suffer with him. He was so very sorry.

She touched his arm and tears welled up in his eyes. Then they were in each others arms and he was crying.

Oh God.

“I’m so sorry, Melinda,” he mumbled. “I’m so, so sorry.”

She pressed herself against him. “It’s okay.” Her hands caressed his back, petted his hair. “I’ve got you. It’s okay.”

And they were in such a mess and he was sure the worst was yet to come. He might have to leave her. He might have to make her kill him and he wasn’t sure she’d survive that. He was so very scared. But she felt so good. Safe. He held on to her and let go while she kept him steady.

After a while, he lifted his head and she cradled his face, stroking away the tears from his cheeks with her thumbs. She had cried too, he could see.

He sniffled and blinked. She was so very close. He loved having her in his arms. He felt lighter now. Still terrified of their future. But not as alone.

She kissed him again. Short. Sweet.

“Gonna freak out again?” she asked then.

He shook his head and rubbed her back.

She took a breath. “I love you. I’m already attached. I love you.”

“You deserve so much better.”

“Got that right!”

He snorted and he felt lighter again.

“I’m not gonna shot you,” she said. “You’re not gonna die, I won’t let you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

She gave him a questioning look.

“I could become dangerous. To you. To others.”

“You won’t.”

He was already getting worse.

“You won’t!”

He wanted to believe her. He wanted to believe her so badly. “How can you say that?”

“I have faith in you.”

She took his breath away. And some of his burdens too. “I love you,” he said. It felt so good saying it, he just had to say it twice. “I love you too.”

A smile blossomed on her face. It was infectious. She kissed him again. This time he wrapped his arms around her tighter. He didn’t think of letting go.

“I love you,” he said and leaned his forehead against hers. He still held so many secrets, he was glad he shared that one first. The rest would follow later. Theta-protocol. Everything. For now he kissed her again.


End file.
